it keeps getting better...

Now I have ItalianGuy who... o-m-g.. he's hot! And he LOVES me! LOL He's sure that his future is waiting for him online somewhere and he's willing to take a chance that it might be me! Way more intense than I'm looking for, but who am I to fight Karma? He's in MN this weekend on business, but I'm hoping our one very interesting chat isn't our last! He's literally FROM Italy! Italian mother, British father.... now lives in IL.

and then I just chatted with JustFriends. I like him too! We laughed over the internet crazies I've been dealing with and he assures me he's not going to send naked pictures or masturbate while we chat! LOL He wants to get together for coffee and see how things work from there. He said he's not gonna lie.. he wants sex... but he'd prefer for it to be with someone he cares about, although he's nowhere near ready to commit and settle down. Sounds exactly like how I feel about the whole thing. And he's not very far away....always a plus!

Did I mention CarGuy? I like him too. Just email so far, but he restores cars for a living, which I think is awesome. And he's a pretty down to earth dad type guy. Hopefully we can get past the "kid" talk and on to something that leads somewhere :-)

I really need to start figuring out some sort of criteria or something! hahaha I'd like to say "if you send me pictures of your parts, you're out" but... there's a couple pictures of parts I've gotten that I want to meet! Does that make me bad??

uh oh! I'm in trouble now!

Thursday my kids go to their dad's for the weekend.

I have BakerBoy that wants to come down to "visit" on Thursday night. He's in his 20's... he'd just be a toy, but is totally fine with that! hahaha

I have a date with CutieBartender on Friday night. Just movies on the couch, but serious potential there for "fun". He's ALSO in his 20's and I really like him. We have a lot in common, actually, and I'd like to be able to consider him more than a toy.

AND.. I have a date SATURDAY night with HistoryGuy, who has serious potential to turn into somethin real... but he doesn't live very close. We chatted for a good long time last night and I'm pretty sure he's a good guy. Smart, funny, age appropriate :-) hahaha

ALL THREE have the potential for sex. Thursday would actually be a guarantee, and Friday is just a "say the word" thing.... Saturday I won't go there just yet.

OMG... I'm totally fine with being a cyberslut, but I had no intention of turning into an ACTUAL slut!

Have you missed me?

Its been quite a while since my last post, huh? Well I've been a busy girl! Not a busy single girl, just a busy girly girl! hahha I've been on vacation with 12 of the very best women on the planet! We danced on the bar at Coyote Ugly, and floated the river in tubes, and just hung out and had a great time!

I've also turned another year closer to 40! Not as bad as I thought, though. Apparently, as long as you've got 20somethings trying to sleep with you, you never feel old! hahaha I celebrated my birthday by taking my two favorite people on the planet, Skaterboy and Sunshine (aka BabyGirl) to Six Flags! We had so much fun! Sunshine loves roller coasters almost as much as I do, and weenie Skaterboy held the bags and cups and stuff! hahahaha

But you don't read to hear about ME and my family, right? LOL You wanna hear about what's up with the guy front!

1)I received GuitarMan for my birthday from one of my girlfriends! Unfortunately, he lives in Michigan, but he's great! Super funny, smart, musical, with just a little bit of "dirty" in there to keep it interesting! hahahaha He's my new favorite text buddy though!

2) BUT, cutie little Bartender guy texted me this morning and we've got a date Friday night! :-) He's too young, but I'm soooo looking forward to hanging out with him! We haven't chatted much recently, but I found out this morning its because he's housesitting for some friends, no internet. I really like him though, I have since the very beginning.

3) Its another free preview weekend on Chemistry.com and I can't believe the much better quality of guys on there! I've got this guy emailing me that might have some potential. I'm not positive he's for real though... he may be foreign, but OMG he's a hottie! :-) And he's in his 30's! LOL for all of you that don't approve of my cradle robbing! hahaha He's actually closer to 40 than I am! LMAO

I've also got a smokin' hot male model that's emailing! I really like him! I'm hoping that works out:-) And various others. The whole cast from the previous posts are all still around. I seem to be making a longer list rather than paring things down like I should be!

I have serious issues, obviously! LOL Vacation's over though, and the rest of my summer is wide open, so I'm hoping to start MEETING some of these people and working on narrowing down the list that way! :-)

well... the weekend's over...

So how did I spend it? Well sitting here at my computer of course! LOL

I wish I had more new and exciting news to report, but really, what could top the lesbian on Friday night? Hahaha

Today I chatted up this older guy who's profile pic is ONLY a torso of smoking hot abs! Apparently he used to be an exotic dancer! :-) We chatted back and forth about nothing really.. just how hot he is and how hard it is to find a guy who lists naked jumping jacks as one of his talents! He gave me an open invitation for a lap danc whenever I want to drive up to St Louis. So... we chit chatted back and forth all day, and eventually I gave him my yahoo IM ID and he added me. Got to see his face finally... ummmm... too much tanning bed Man! Still yet... lap dancing... hmmmm....

And I chatted with a new black guy from IL. He wants to take me out. Thinks I'm smokin' hot... which I always love to hear! hahaha I dunno if that'll work out or not, but he seems nice enough and is fine with chatting until we decide I feel comfortable enough to give my phone number out (one good thing about having a stalker, it gives me a good excuse to take things slow while I try to figure stuff out! hahaha)

Oh yeah... there was also the karate instructor from down south that I chatted with. He was MUCH more interesting in his profile than in chat. Its hard for me to decide if these guys just aren't comfortable typing or if they're really that boring in a real converstation! hahaha this guy said he likes to text and gave me his cell number, but to text him I'd have to give him MY cell number and ... well... not really ready for that with this one either!

Of course there's still a few hours left before bed...maybe Mr Right will text/email/IM me still yet this evening! hahaha but I'm really just playing around until vacation in a couple of days anyway. Not about to set anything up between now and then.

My first lesbian experience!

HAHAHAHAHA bet that got some seriously shocked looks from my local followers who know me in person! LMAO

Seriously, though, I got hit on last night by a chick! She's from California, so I saw no problem in chatting with her (online! don't freak out local bodyguards!). I told her straight up I don't swing that way, but she sounded like she could use someone to talk to, and anyone that thinks I'm beautiful obviously has good taste hahahaha, so I talked to her for a good long while.

Started out with the whole "Does your husband know?" "How does your daughter feel about it?" chitchat She unloaded years of hidden frustrations... apparently she's not out of the closet at all yet.

Then she started talking self-love! hahahhaha 1) She started askng more personal questions about me... like the same ones I get from guys... and I had to remind her, again, that I'm not gay. 2)She was obviously very turned on by her own conversation! hahahaha

She even sent me dirty pictures! She said she wanted my opinion. I opened them... closed them REALQUICK cuz my kids are here in the living room with me while we're chatting! hahaha

So... I guess its cuz I can totally laugh about it that these insane people like me so much. I was totally cool with her and she shared some extremely disturbing fantasies!

But... my philosophy is that you learn something from everyone you meet, and I came away from that convo with some amazing ummm.... tips... on how to make it through the dry spells! hahahhahahahahaha

commitment

Okay... isn't the stereotype that men run screaming from any form of commitment? Well that stereotype was apparently created by unpopular women! LOL

This is not a new problem for me... in high school too, I just wanted to date EVERYONE but, no... they all wanted to be my "boyfriend". I thought for sure it would be different as an adult, don't know why I thought that..everything else seems to mirror high school! hahaha

I had a guy who is in AFGANASTAN til September who deleted his profile from okcupid once I agreed to talk to me... and apparently, when he realized I wasn't up to making the same commitment, he's not IMing me anymore!

Kenya wants a serious relationship...I told him no, sorry. He's GREAT, but I'm not going from married to committed without trying on all the other shoes out there! He says he's okay with being friends til I come around.

The local country guy who's considerably older than me wants a serious relationship.... I told him no, not tying down, sorry. He's still IMing.. and I just found out he actually leaves me little "good mornings" that my father in law deletes when he uses my computer during the day! hahahhaa

I ditched the 22 year old cuz I had the feeling he was already planning our wedding before I ever even met him.

The list goes on and on! Its funny to me because the ones that I KNOW would be perfect (drummerboy who has stopped emailing me) are impossible to pin down, but these other guys are great guys... its not like they're a bunch of losers looking to tie down the first person who is nice to them.... but I'm not about to settle... and I havent even MET them and they're wanting some sort of exclusive rights?

I'm pretty clear in my profile that I'm just dating, not settling, but apparently they don't believe me! hahaha I KNOW it scares off some guys before they even contact me, which is fine, I suppose;-) hahaha

but Im a girl... I'm not supposed to DREAD the question "so what are you looking for in a relationship?"

omg.. this definately earns a second post in one day...

What are my current question marks? Age and ethnicity, right?

SO... who do I add to my chat list this afternoon? A 24 year old black guy from Kenya! hahaha He's incredibly interesting! He has been in the US for 3 years and spent much of that time raising money to help underprivleged kids left in Kenya.


Yes... I know... its sick isn't it? Do they have an Internet Personals Addiction Support Group? hahahahha

Uh oh... I think I might be turning into a cyberslut! hahahaha

Last night, I was not even online all that long, but I:

Texted back and forth to one guy...naked pictures guy... if he'd stick with the sweetness and lose all the frat boy sex talk, he might stand a chance.

Chatted with 4 different guys:
--older country guy... super nice, not sure we're looking for the same things, but I've been very honest and he keeps wanting to talk to me so, whatever!

--TrueGrit... not sure how to describe him except by his screen name. He's okay... we chat from time to time, I don't see any real action coming out of that one, but he's okay to talk to.

--DrMIT... he's new... last night was the first time I chatted with him. He has lofty academic goals, PhD type stuff... Dean of college type goals. I like him okay, I think, but he's black and I'm not. I still haven't really given too much thought to how I feel about that.

--CutieBartender :-) Definately my new favorite... but... guess how old he is? LOL I totally give up on grown up! This guy's 24! He's actually the bar manager, he says, but we have the same taste in movies and music and the same sense of humor, I think. Hard to tell from the little I talked to him, but he has potential... unfortunately, he doesn't live close by.

Emailed back and forth with 4 more....
--6ftKorean... he's LOCAL, actually went to school with my ex, but says he doesn't know him. He likes to cook, which I hate, so that sounds awesome! hahaha He's my age, divorced, 3 kids... Drawbacks are he's in college and living with his parents since the divorce, but I can totally respect rebuilding after a fall. Still waiting to see where that one goes. So far, he's super sweet and I like him.

--Tennessee... I dunno what made me even reply to this guy! hahaha He's another black guy, and he's out of state, and he types like a thug, but for some reason I couldn't just ignore him. We'll see if he ever makes it into another blog! hahaha

--SweetieCollege Guy... another 24 year old! Told ya... I give up! hahaha This one's a little nerdy, and kind of shy, but I like something about him... still trying to figure out what it is.

--KindaWierdDefinatelyJustFriends Guy... This guy put in his profile that he's looking for someone that doesn't mind small penis size or inexperience! hahahahaha... NO.. I did NOT contact him first! LMAO He emailed me and I emailed him back. I kinda feel a bit motherly toward him.. he seems so lost... I'm a sucker for strays! hahahaha

AND... I pissed off someone because I told him I might be seeing someone and didn't want to get started with talking to someone new.

At the time, it wasn't a complete lie. I have someone that I was considering starting a serious thing with, but I've changed my mind (like within hours! hahaaha)! I think he's a bit too much of a control freak for me. This was not an online thing, but that's all the details I'm going to give, too many local people follow my blog for me to give too much away! hahahahahaha I'm thinking he wants me to beg and, umm... hello?? do I seem that desperate?? hahaaha

The current playlist...

Y'all know about my married stalker, but its been a while since I've updated the players, so I thought maybe an introduction is in order :-)

22 year old---yes... 22! hahaha... I'm WAY older than that. He was totally into me, kept telling me how awesome I am. I chatted with him for the weekend, but I just can't get over the age difference. I think I broke his heart this afternoon when I told im :-( Makes me sad, but omg... 22???

24.. TallGuy... he might have been in the last list.. he's still hanging around. 24 seems awfully young to me too, but at least this guy has his own place and stuff. Funny though... I was chatting with him right after I finished chatting with 22yo and 24 was jealous! hahaha I had JUST learned this guys real name, but he wanted to tell me he didn't want me seeing the 22 year old? LMAO yeah... yeah... I'm a sucker...I kinda found it flattering! LMAO TallGuy might get a date this weekend, if I don't chicken out! hahaha

SouthernBoy... another 24 year old... vegan... artist/poet.. cutie... but... ummm... not going anywhere! He's a hippie dude, but I can't remember where it was he lives... Louisiana maybe? Not nearby.

Speaking of far away... I just met ArmyMan, online of course, he's in Afganastan! He's a Texan though, and Texas holds my heart :-) He's apparently so sure that I'm the "one" that he deleted his online profile when I agreed to talk to him! I don't know when we're going to actually chat, it was 8pm here 5am there, but he seems nice and I'm interested to see where that leads. He won't be home until November though, so I'm not giving up the other players just yet! hahaha

WealthyUglyLocal... this guy seems to pop up with the same dang ugly ass picture on every singles' site I visit and I'm sorry money isn't more of a motivater for me, cuz he seems to really like me more and more at each site! He's not emailing or stalking or anything though, and our paths aren't likely to cross in real life (i hope) so it should be okay.

FarmGuy... he's new. Just starting chatting tonight. He's fairly local, his kids are grown.... might be too much of a homebody for me, but seems pretty nice. Its pretty funny how I go from either way too young to maybe too old... but I'm willing to see where that leads.

and, of course, my favorite, Drummer Boy still seems to be a maybe. I can't figure him out. He emails me...sometimes... not often, and he rarely replies, except when I seem to be particularly insane. I was sure I drove him to the hills when I had my crazy insane stalker evening, but he was cool about it. He scares me, cuz he can break MY heart. I've tried not to be over-the-top or anything, but I'm really not a "play it cool" kind of girl!hahaha

Seems to me there's been others in and out, but I can't think of any of them. I ditched the DJ when he called me on the phone and couldn't barely speak in complete sentences... I wasn't mean or anything, but by the time I got home from work, he had deleted his whole profile from the website! I think I blew off nakie picture guy too... I said something about not knowing when I was ever going to be able to get that far away and I haven't heard from him since. NavyGuy must've went back to his wife, cuz I haven't heard from him in a while either. hmmmmm.... its a revolving door, that's for sure! hahahaha

bring it on!

Seriously... I thought the stalker post would be the worst of the drama. Ummm... no! Let me tell you what happened AFTER I got off the computer last night....

10pm... I'm trying to get to bed.. I get up at 5am. Son's friend gets dropped off at the house to spend the night (house is always full of teenage boys). I get a text message from the guy that sent me naked pictures... "phone sex for 2" ummmm... no... bedtime. "but we're still on for live sex, right?" hmmmm.... last I heard it was dinner... whatever...

11pm-ish... my daughter runs in and wakes me up terrified because someone is knocking on the window in the basement. My first thought is stalker, but I quickly realize its friends of my son. I try to yell for my child, find out he's outside now... go to the door, get my kid and one of the spend the nighter's in... the one that just showed up at 10 has taken off with the other boys.

In the midst of dealing with that issue (locked friend out... yeah yeah, I'd have let him back in with an apology, but he wasn't getting to run town and use me as an excuse... I also tattled), my stalker starts texting me as he's getting closer and closer to where I live. He wants me to meet him at walmart so he can "make sure I sleep well' ummm... okay.. you're still married buddy and it still ain't happening... but it takes a while to get that through to him.

FINALLY...I've cleared the drama and I can maybe get 4 hours of sleep, and my sweet little 8 year old girl turns to me and says, I kid you not, "Mom, am I old enough yet to learn how babies get in your tummy?"

Individually, I could've laughed off any of those situations.... yeah.. the stalker is a little creepy, and the boys definately needed dealt with... but still... I can handle it.... Throw them ALL AT ME AT ONCE... and well... I think its time for me to start drinking!

My Stalker

I found a new free dating site and thought I'd check it out (www.okcupid.com if anyone's looking! hahaha)I've been to several sites and don't think all of them are worth the time it takes to write a halfway decent profile, so I just threw a pic up and started an account to see what this group was like. Almost immediately I get an email. This has got to be SOLELY on picture alone cuz I haven't even typed anything yet!

This guy says he's on HWY... OMG... that's right by my house! I ignore him.... email again... boom boom boom... he gets closer and closer.. and finally says he's at HWY... That's my STREET!!!! So I'm peeking over my shoulder looking for the hidden camera as I type and I get more email... this guy is nothing if not persistant. I email him back that he's kinda freaking me out a little! His profile isn't even local!

He emails me back that he just happens to be at the scout ranch that's a town south of me and on an ice run up to the gas station not very far from my house. Wants me to come out and meet up with him and see if the attraction is mutual. Ummm... I'm in my jammies and the kids are home! hahaha I refuse.. he persists... we end up making plans to meet the next evening after work... He gets my number.. texts... calls...

Next day... texts me all day while I'm working.. he's WAY into me.. from a picture... but I'm getting used to that part of the whole online thing. He seems okay... an engineer!

so... we meet at Dairy Queen. I get there first, I'm closer, I ask if he wants me to get him anything... yes.. I paid! (with my last $5! single mom sucks!) He comes in grinning like a little kid! He's okay... but a big.. BIG guy... not a hottie or anything... but not bad.

Sits down.. asks me about my "situation" I tell him a little bit about my separation/pending divorce (separation scares guys, apparently)... we get to talking about him....

He's MARRIED! yep... no intention of leaving his wife, just hoping I was "ready" enough to be okay with a purely sexual relationship! Ummm... no... that's a deal breaker... definately not interested in a married guy.

but... I think I've mentioned I'm not a great break-it-off-er.. so I still end up sitting there talking to him for an hour. He holds my hand the whole time (across the table). Tells me all about how I'm a dead ringer for his wife, who he loves, but she just doesn't like sex anymore and he does. No... she has not "okayed" the cheating.. its a secret.. but he likes sex and he's going to find it somewhere somehow. He actually told me exactly what size I wear AND my bra size just from "visual" inspection!

Okay... so his hour is up and its time for me to go home. I've not backed into "maybe" or anything.. its definately NOT going to happen! He holds the door for me to leave, hugs me, clingy... kiss... uhhh okay.. then he tries to REALLY kiss me... ummm... NOT okay... leaves wistfully... "you're sure" YES.. i'm sure!

Later, I get a text... you're sure? YES I'm sure.

Laying in bed.. another text... "how about if we just masturbate" UMMM... OOOOHHHH... OKAY... LETS DO THAT! seriously???

In the morning, I updated my profile more and added a few more pictures (site seems promising despite the first impression)... Stalker is right on top of it... text message... "love the new pics" "yes... I'm hoping they attract someone that doesn't already belong to someone ELSE!" Not nearly as many text messages as the day before, but yeah... he texts me all day.

When we were setting up the meeting in the first place, I had told him Wednesday was out... its family game night, weight watchers, swimming... busy night.... SO... I check my websites really quick and come here to write out my blog... guess how many text messages I've gotten! "I thought you were busy tonight" O-M-G!

The day was worse... I could detail my other messes I've been through.. TODAY! I think I'm being punished for being slightly jealous of my ex's illusion of happiness or something.... but ... seriously... isn't this stalker thing bad enough???

Haters

I live this very rose colored life, generally, so when someone steps in and smashes my glasses, I tend to take it very hard!

I got an email this weekend from someone who was not at all nice. He listed off all the reasons I have NOTHING to offer a potential date. At first I was angry... am still angry... but more than anything, he might as well have taken a hammer to my self confidence!

I think it was the timing. I had thought for sure I'd have a date this weekend, but its Sunday night and besides the offer of "cuddling" on the couch with a movie with one of the 25 year olds that are trying to get me to sleep with them, there's been nothing concrete. I even got stood up! It was something I never should've agreed to in the first place, but did in a moment of desperation, but then he didn't ever text me back with the details!

I don't like feeling desperate... not at all... Makes me want to chuck the whole darn computer out the window!

I know I'll find someone eventually, and none of these things were a perfect match anyway, but I don't know when I'll have another free weekend even if I DO get an offer of SOMETHING and I'm not at all happy to find that I'm going to waste my summer just chatting with all my free time :-(

No Closers???

Earlier this week I had a few offers of "wanna get together" Okay... here it is Thursday night and I STILL have no real plans for the weekend! C'mon!!! Seriously???

woo hoo! we've got a new old player...

I had totally written off DrummerBoy... I was sure he wasn't interested for real, but he's one that I really AM interested in (c'mon... drummer in a band, motorcycle, but totally literate and not the icky bad boy type) He's back to emailing me regularly. Awesome :-) He's much more of a "take it slow" kind of person, which is very very VERY hard for me, but I'm convinced that he's not writing me off and I like him more and more every time he does email me.

AND...what got me to write to him again anyway.. he's VERY high on my "this is the guy you should date and marry" scientifically matched potential mates! hahaha DUH.. that's what I've been trying to tell him! hahahaahahahha

too much? naaaahhhh!!!

So.. yesterday I'm packing up to try to get out of town for a few days and I get a text message asking what I'm doing. No name... just number. I reply that I'm not doing a whole lot of anything cuz I'm really not sure who I'm talking to. He comes back, "Why not".... "just got home from work, the real excitement starts once I get on the road for my 8 hour road trip out of town for the weekend" "that sucks, I'm having a party at the river Sunday"

Okay...I KNOW he's local because his phone number is local, but, honestly, there's more than one local guy that has my number that I don't have saved in my phone. What do I do? What do I do? Fun, flirty girl takes over and I just run with it.... we chatted back and forth for a while, I still would've never figured out who it was if I hadn't texted my buddy to ask if maybe it was the "ain't happenin' " ex of hers... yes... it was... so he finally graduated to saved in my phone by name! hahaahahahhahaha

Still ain't happenin... and I tried telling him that.. but he says it doesn't count if its been more than 5 months since he's seen my friend naked! LMAO It made the long ass drive much more fun;-)hahahahaha

Bad News....

Tattoo Guy has no job "through no fault of his own".....and it was just a Dominoes delivery job anyway.

I did chat with a new guy last night... Monkeyboy.. i think was his screen name....he's 44, considerably older, been divorced twice... dunno about that one. He's one of those 'good ol' boys' that I'm just not all that sure about, but he's more than willing to drive to me! hahaha

and he thinks I'm beautiful and funny and blah blah blah.... at least he has good taste;-)

Now here's something funny...

My friend was talking to a friend of hers and he asked for my number. I promise... it is DEFINATELY not going anywhere... not really interested in sharing my toys LOL... but he texted me last night and I can totally see why he's such a successful shark!

This guy has ZERO interest in parenting... I know this cuz I was there when my friend was hanging out with this guy... but I was at Sunshine's first swim meet last night when he was texting me and he was totally interested. Or, more likely, really good at seeming interested! He texted to see what I was doing and when I told him, he kept coming back with "well how'd she do" and things like that. Sunshine had a rough time and totally freaked out over the competition aspect of her new favorite sport. This new guy was almost as interested and supportive as her dad! hahaha

Never once did he mention sex... never even really asked about me... just jumped right in to what I was busy with at the moment and ran with it. Figures he's a freaking big time player and has seen one of my very best friends naked! LMAO

what an interesting weekend!

So... I almost met up with one of the players this weekend. He lives in another small town that's rather far away though, and things weren't working out too well for me to get there (karma...saving my ass once again) I gave up, he didn't. He actually sent me a pic of his boy parts as if THAT would get me there faster! OMG, umm.. no! Obviously I'm going to have to adjust my bullshit meter! I can talk the talk with the best of them, but I'm rather reserved in "real" life. Looking back, I really should've seen that this wasn't a good "first date" but I was bored and alone, so I thought he'd be fun to hang out with. Now I have to figure out how to extricate myself gently... something I've NEVER been good at!

Hair Guy has been emailing regularly... just sweet little "I hope you're having a good day" notes... no pressure or anything... I kind of like that, but I'm still unsure how far I want that one to go.

I think the NavyGuy is married... he's online during the week, not a word over the weekend... I never really thought that would go anywhere anyway.

So.. I think I'm going to have to update my profile on the website... I dunno. I seem to be catching lots of sunfish... fun to catch, but totally not worth keeping!

look out... here i come!

MAN... I don't know what these poor single guys did with themselves while I was internet-less for 2 weeks, but I am one POPULAR girl! hahaha Its great for the ego, but a little daunting for a first timer! On one hand, the fun flirty single girl is totally loving the attention, but then the steady sensible "mom" side says... hold up... where do you think THAT will get you? hahahahaha

I've never in my life been so aggravated at myself for letting my children stay home from their dad's but who knows what kind of trouble I'd be landing myself in if they weren't here to keep me sane??

So lets introduce the players shall we?

Ex Navy Guy is TOTALLY aggressive and all about the hook up. I'd expect to be more frightened than I am, but something about that forcefullness is kind of exciting. Based on picture alone, I'd never have given a second glance, but there's something to be said for a guy that's totally in to YOU (based solely on a picture) and this guy way is! hahaha He's a "darker skinned man" (his words) not black... middle eastern descent, I'd guess.... not something I was looking for, but not something I've ever given much thought to one way or another.

Hair Guy (I remember him cuz when he emailed me he said he likes my hair... not my smile, which I get all the time, but my hair! haha) is totally sweet and we have a TON in common... like scary how much... but I'm not so physically attracted to him and I don't know if I could be. I'm leaving things open though because he's great to talk to. My biggest problem with him though is I see him totally latching on and I wasn't planning on ONE guy with this whole dating adventure. He has emailed me first thing in the morning and last thing at night and immediately after work for the last couple of days and he has IM'd more than once a day and he goes on and on about how he couldn't wait to talk to me. Flattering... definately... but also just a little too smothery for me. Plus, he's younger than me, never been married, has no kids.... I don't want him hitching his wagon to me when I CANT have more kids... that sounds crazy, I'm sure, but that's where my mind is going with that one.

Tattoo Guy... OMG... I'm gonna cry over that one if he doesn't want to get to know each other better! He's been emailing me, but I've known that to just STOP all of a sudden, so I'm trying not to get my hopes up. His profile pic was pretty covered up, so I don't know just how extensive the tattoos are, but he's an artist, an awesome artist, and his taste in music is just as crazy as mine.... his taste in music.. his taste in movies... all I could say when I finished reading his profile was WOW!

Nice Guy is Mexican and doesn't live too far away. I'm not so sure about him... he's okay, but I dont think we have much in common really and he initiates a chat, but I have to drag conversation out of him He IS nice, but that's about it. I don't say he's Mexican like I have a problem with it.... I'm sure there are nice mexican men... but my good friend had a BAD BAD one, so I'm a little leery. Again... its not something I ever really saw myself with.

Shrek... yes.. his screen name is Shrek. He won't email, wants to text. I'm all for texting, anyone who knows me knows this... but I've put him off a couple of times because he just wants me to text him. He's been persistant though, which I like (sucker that I am! hahaha) so I think I'll try and see what's up with that one. He's a counselor of some sort, which definately interests me... we'll see on that one.

TallGuy... I don't know about him! He's a young'un...25 I think! but he's also been very persistant and he's local, so I'm keeping that door open too. He doesn't want to email either... he wants my yahoo chat address... I'm not going straight there... especially not with a local guy who could be a stalker! hahahaha

And what kind of small town single girl would I be if I didn't tell you about the locals?!? HAHAHAHA
1) I almost agreed to a date, just cuz he was local and I'm slightly desperate (shhhhhhh) Fortunately, something clued me in cuz I found out he dated a few girls I work with and lets just say.. ummmmm... NO.. definately not!

2)I got married young... I didn't date a whole lot before I hooked up with my husband... but there was ONE SERIOUS DRAMA in high school and guess who's on the same single's website??? Talk about embarrassing! He's gonna know I peeked at his profile cuz you can't keep those things secret, but its not like he emailed me or I emailed him or anything. But this guy WRECKED HIS CAR cuz he was so pissed at me for breaking a date (which I did VERY badly... totally my fault)

3) Some Karaoke guy has been emailing me....local... I don't think that's gonna pan out... but the pond is MUCH too small in this small town! I definately need to find some bigger fish! hahaha

I'm BAAAACK!!!!

WHEW! a couple of weeks without internet is murderous!!! I TOTALLY need my online time!

so what's new with me?

hmmmm... skaterboy snuck out of the house with his 16 year old buddy to meet up with some girls at a cemetary. He's grounded for the rest of his life! haaha.... he's 12 if you didn't know that! 12... yes... not even a teenager yet!

Sunshine hosted a "prom" for her second grade friends. It was an... ummm... adventure! She also joined the swim team which has practice EVERY evening at 5pm (right at dinner time!) so that's taking up a LOT of my time!

and me.... well.... I'm STILL single! hahaha I had a nice little email thing going on with hottie, then he just ditched. I have no idea what happeened, but I'm not about to turn into a crazy psycho girl and keep emailing him with no response. Yes, he's hot, but no, not worth THAT.

I just got out of my very first singles website IM chat! Yes... I'm moving up! hahaha Next thing you know, I'll be texting strangers! The guy was okay... nothing spectacular, but nice and complementary... that's always a plus when someone tells you you're beautiful! hahahaha

Other than that, life's been pretty boring around here. We spent the holiday weekend cleaning! hahaha

maybe I'd stand a chance if...

Okay...so hottie from close by has been emailing me... awesome right? Except even in email I'm such a goober! I get all flustery and stupid and run on and on and forget what I already know.... I'm totally jacking it all up! hahaha

Way out of my league anyway, I think. Besides the totally hot factor (which I completely think I deserve! hahaha) he asked me how I feel about Cancun? Cancun?? ummm.... single mom of 2 in an itty bitty town in the middle of nowhere? I think BRANSON is a big deal vacation!

What the heck happened to the cool flirty girl from my youth? I don't want to PRACTICE with the hot guy who lists ISLANDS as his interests!

another fun and exciting weekend on tap!

Tomorrow is YARD SALE DAY! hahaha I get rid of my kids for the weekend only to replace them with what can only be described as the craziest of all fanatics (except maybe bingo players!) Yard Salers!

I still have a ton of work to do to get ready for it, which I think is totally stressing out my very organized yard sale buddy... but I'm sure I'll be ready and hopefully I'll make some money!

hmmm... I'm a popular girl today! hahaha

Apparently, Spark.com is jumpin! I've gotten 5 "flirts" within about 5 minutes! I'm pretty sure they're all fake...not a single one of them is in Missouri, one is from Japan... but on a day like today, I'll take what I can get! hahahaha If you haven't been doing the online dating thing, you may not know what a "firt" is... its a free, pre-written message. You can send and receive flirts without signing up for the service. My guess is when you get a whole bunch of them you get all excited and join the site to have REAL emails... Lord knows if I wasn't so darn broke, I'd have jumped right on that bandwagon! LOL

I also got a message from an actual reasonably local guy on Yahoo. This one is causing me some indecision. I absolutely can't afford to join, so its totally out of the question, but its the ONE message I've gotten in my week long experiment that I really do WISH was true! :-(

Poor sad SingleGirl! What to do? What to do? Pay the electric.... or flirt??

So, maybe I'm not cut out for this online dating stuff!

My free weekend at chemistry kinda sucked, but I do have one guy who is emailing me on Yahoo. He looks like a serial killer! Seriously! I mean, really... if you are going to post a picture on an online dating service, at least SMILE!

But... so... anyway.... I keep answering him cuz 1) I'm afraid he's a serial killer and might come hunt me down! and 2) I know he can see if I ignore him or delete him from my profile and I don't want to hurt his feelings! hahahaa

Online dating is supposed to be anonymous and fun, and I STILL can't escape the feel sorry/overly responsible parts of myself!

BUT... a friend of mine from work just found out I was single and she has a GREAT idea for me.... Tugboat linemen! :-) Sounds PERFECT! They make TONS of money and are only home a week or so a month! Now if she can just find me one that's not a drug addict or alcoholic.....

Another Wild Crazy Single Girl Weekend!

Friday night, I ruined SkaterBoy's life by not allowing him to ride up to St Louis with his newly 16 and driving friend and 2 other boys to go to an all night skate competition. Did I mention we had tornado warnings? Yeah... Bad mom! Turns out okay though... the other boys weren't able to get in anyway! SO... Sunshine and I went grocery shopping to the sound of tornado sirens then we came home and went to bed early.

Saturday... hmmmmm.... not much of anything! Sat night, Sunshine had a friend over, more storms, more children in my bed. SkaterBoy spent the night with his buddy.

Sunday, I'm home all alone... well... with a million children... trying to get in bed by 10! hahaha


It was free weekend on www.chemistry.com... I thought I'd met a few matches, but never heard back from them and the free preview is over tonight..... On to a free preview at www.spark.com! hahahahhhahahaa

addicting!

omg... I think I'm addicted to reading online personal ads! hahahahaha I'm not desparate or crazy or anything like that, but some of them are just freaking hilarious! "I wanna lick you for hours" "married, but afternoons are free" "my wife and I will meet you at ...."

I think a big part of my intrigue in all this is just trying to figure out which ones are actually serious and which ones are just obviously trash!

Not Fair!!!

I have one "interested" and one "checking me out" at Chemistry.com and I'm too freaking poor to pay for the subscription! And one of my matches sounds GREAT... I'd be totally willing to check HIM out! hahahaha

stupid stupid stupid girl! When it says free WEEKEND wait for the WEEKEND! The next 2 days til I can "check out my matches for free" are going to be brutal!


In the meantime..... what do you think of a guy named "Thor"?

A huge leap!

Well... after my disappointing outing at the bar, I decided its time to try harder. I joined Yahoo Personals, and started a profile on Chemistry.com. I'm not sure what I expected, but after a day, I've had ONE person check out my profile! I'm not so sure this is going to help my self esteem! hahaha

Wild and Crazy Kildless Weekend!

Ah the fun and excitement of a Kid Free Weekend!!!

Last night, I thought I'd try my hand at the bar scene. I don't drink, mind you, so this was quite the experiment. I am not morally opposed to liquor or anything like that, I just don't like anything that I've tried, but I like to dance (thanks to my awesome texas friends!) so I was looking forward to going.

My gorgeous friend Blondie likes to drink and likes to dance... her husband does NOT like it... so that was an issue before we ever got started. Then her boss and another friend (who doesn't seem to like me much) were there, so I was kind of off to myself most of the night. She was drinking, but not feeling it enough to dance... I'm not a big fan of dancing alone! haha

It was slim pickin's at the bar... either old and creepy or omg-you-can't-possibly-be-old-enough-to-drink! The only guys worth looking at were there with their signifigant others.

SO anyway... Blondie finally danced, and that was it for Mr Blondie.. he doesn't like the other guys checking out his hottie wife, so we came home around 1am.

Then I had to be at work at 6:30 am... fun fun! I was only 7 minutes late though! Worked til noon, napped til 5 and now I'm feeding SkaterBoy's buddies and trying to decide what I'm going to clean tonight or if i'm going to ditch it all and just watch tv!

This weeks crush

I have a secret little crush on our IT guy at work! I think he's married, but apparently not happily! hahaha I work in a building with about 300 women and... ummm.... 6 guys! hahaha 2 of those guys' wives work there with them...... its not a very big pond! LOL

But our IT guy is a cutie! And he plays up his role as the most eligible guy in the building! He's a flirt and super friendly and I guess I'm just in the right frame of mind to fall for it!

Fortunately, I'm not crazy or desperate... but... I AM planning to join a couple singles' sites this weekend! Maybe it'll give me something to do on these lonely weekends without my kids. Hopefully, at the very least, it'll give me plenty of blog fodder to keep you entertained! :-)

Sorry Loyal Fans!

I had one of my downhill type weekends! It started Saturday when ManChild confirmed that his new girlfriend was going to be in town for the weekend (she lives a couple of hours away) For some reason, that seemed to highlight the fact that he really is gone and I really am alone. I don't want him back, but I don't particularly want him HAPPY either! hahahaha

SO... Friday night, I text him that he has GOT TO STOP CALLING ME. He texts me at least once a day. Thursday night he called to chat about a mutual acquaintance's upcoming retirement... He texted me that a friend of my mom's was selling a Jeep for too much money... Just little crazy crap that he has no business talking to me about. His first response is "YOU text ME too!" Ummm... yes.. unfortunately, I am guilty, but almost ALWAYS its AFTER he's been texting me and being overly friendly and stuff and I forget that I can't be friends with him. So I said, "Do not try to make this MY fault... I am not the one that wanted to give up my best friend." He says, "I'm not trying to make it anyone's fault" Ummm... Hello... its YOUR fault! But, whatever, by the end of the converstation, he had managed to make me feel like I was the scum of the Earth and totally sucked all the life out of him. It was depressing.

Saturday, I had to replace SkaterBoy's stolen cell phone. I'm on ebay trying to find a phone. SkaterBoy is using ManChild's cool messaging phone because obviously Dad doesn't need it.. his girlfriend is THERE with him, right? So, of course, despite the fact that this is his third phone in less than a year, SkaterBoy wants a phone like Dad's. I find one on Ebay for $60, call boy to tell him to ask dad how much he'll pay because ManChild has already made a big deal to me about how broke he is. Dad tells boy... "Mom says you have $20 in allowance, I'll give you 20 and she can give you 20"

Ummm... okay... where does the allowance come from? The Money Fairy??? I said, "no.. you have $10 in allowance now since I gave you 10 of it last night for roller skating, and by that math, I pay $40 and dad pays 20! Call him back and get a dollar amount that he's going to pay and I'll find a phone I can afford to pay the rest toward."

SO.. in the midst of buying SkaterBoy a phone he did not deserve, I screw up the PayPal thing and end up taking the money out of ManChild's checking account. I call to warn him, cuz I'm sure he's on the verge of being in overdraft despite the fact that he got paid the day before. He won't answer his phone! Understandable, I guess, since new girlfriend is there, but whatever!

.... later that evening... I come home from shopping with some friends around 8pm. SkaterBoy is nowhere to be found and not answering his cell phone! I know he has no money because he spent the 10 I gave him the night before at the skating rink. I call friends... no answer... I am FREAKING OUT. Finally, I decide to drive to the skating rink to see if I can find a friend that has seen him since I talked to him last. SkaterBoy is THERE! How did he get there? Dad brought him AND gave him money to get in. Ummm... and nobody thought to let ME KNOW WHERE MY CHILD IS???? I called ManChild...still not answering calls from me... left a scathing message about how its MY weekend and don't you DARE just take boy wherever he wants to go without talking to me about it first!

... Sunday was just more suckiness.. won't bore you with the details...

... but then... This afternoon... BabyGirl wants to go dinner with Dad. No... I don't want her to, its my night, but I don't want to punish her cuz I hate him, so I said it was okay. He actually speaks to me.. live voice... to make sure it's okay. Yeah.. fine.. whatever. I leave BabyGirl at the house and go to the chiropractor. Get home a little bit later, MANCHILD IS IN MY HOUSE!!! Getting his mail or something.. probably checking his email on my freaking computer. Whodathunk that telling him I don't want to speak to him anymore didn't cover the fact that he isn't welcome in my home anymore either!

I have no idea how I'm supposed to survive this INSANITY!!!!

Family Game Night

Wednesdays are Family Game Night. It started as a way to force ManChild to interact with the family, but since he's been gone, its been MUCH more fun, and we regularly have guest family members playing with us. Tonight was SkaterBoy's best bud, 16, who pushed to the very limits of his curfew to stay and finish the game. BabyGirl LIVES for Game Night and everyone wants it to be their turn to pick the game. This week, I picked The Game of Life.

Wouldn't it be great if life was really like the game?

BabyGirl rushed from the get go. She didn't go to college, but ended up being a computer whiz with the highest salary available. She was the first to get a paycheck, the first to buy a house, the first to have children, and the first to retire, with a nice little nest egg. She ended up in second place.

SkaterBoy played by the seat of his pants. Looking for the easy money anywhere he could get it. He went to college and became an accountant after figuring out that we'd all be paying HIM when the taxes were due. He bought a beautiful house, had baby after baby after baby, but never had to pay anything for any of them, just kept collecting from all of us whenever we got hit with taxes. He came in third.

GoodBuddy was the careful player. He is the only player who bought stock, was the first to pay off his student loans, insured everything he had and made a modest salary as an athelete. He ended the game with only three life tiles (which, if you're not familiar with the game, you get when you do something.. anything.. skydiving, winning the nobel prize, planning family game night... just getting out gets you a life card). GB played it safe and followed all the rules. He came in dead last!

Me... I was the doctor. I started with a small salary, but ended up with the high pay for long enough to have built up quite a savings. I had a modest but nice home, no insurance, no stock. I had two children, that I paid for on one turn. I paid taxes more often than anyone else, but I also landed on the most humanitarian spaces.... even won a nobel prize! hahaha I was the last player to retire, which meant I collected life tiles long after everyone else was enjoying their retirement. I ended up with twice as much money as BabyGirl! Slow and steady really did win the race.

I can only hope, as I get my life together and head into this new adventure, that real life imitates the game. I'm more than willing to work for what I earn, but I've been slow and steady for so long.... I can't wait to see where I end up in the grand scheme of things. I anxiously await the results in this huge Game of Life.

Driving

I hate to drive. I am not bad at driving (shut up Aunt Crazy!) but I am a MUCH better navigator. I can get you wherever you want to go, by either the quickest, or the most scenic, or the long way around. I am my own Google Map! I can tell you points of interest along the way, give you ideas where to stop, pick the best tourist traps. I love to be in the passenger seat, just taking everything in.

ManChild is a driver by profession, and he always drove throughout our 20 years together. We took some awesome road trips in that time. Texas... Florida... Smokey Mountains... it was nothing for us to just load up the car, clean out the bank account and start driving. Life was good.

But I CAN drive... and sometimes, by default, I just have to. I don't like it, the trip just isn't nearly as fun when I can't enjoy the scenery, but I'll do it to keep things moving. I've been driving in our relationship for the last few years, and I have a feeling that's where the problems started...neither of us was in the right seat.

I think my date this weekend was a passenger. I think he'll go wherever I want, as long as I do the driving. This is great for some women. I know LOTS of women who LOVE to be behind the wheel, but I'm tired of having to do all the driving and ready to just navigate for a while... enjoy the scenery...

I call Shotgun!

Dating Advice from BabyGirl

My GirlBaby came home from Daddy's this weekend and she didn't know I had been on a date. She asked me if I ever got to meet my "friend" yet and I said yeah.. I had a date over the weekend. She asked how it went, I said it was okay, so she proceeded to share all the wisdom she has learned from her four relationships in her long 8 year lifespan.

1)If I'm going on a date, I need to ask the boy what he likes. I need to find a guy that likes the same things I like. Her suggestion is that since I want to be going back to college soon, I should be looking for a college boy. (hmmm.... I think where this is heading! hahaha)

2)Once I have been on a date, if he asks who I like better, I need to tell him that he's my guy. He's the type for me (if he passed rule 1 and we like the same things)

3)Look him in the eyes (she said it just like that and said, "that's all I have to say about that")

4)If this isn't the first date (and she qualified this advice with that opening), sometimes you just have to go for it. Don't be the kind of girl that just giggles and waits around. (yes.. I am already afraid for her teenage years!)

5)If I need to move on to another boyfriend and he asks who I like better I should just tell him "Well--I have liked you for a while now, I think I like you, so just meet me at..... (fill in the blank)" and I should feel free to have a challenge (she suggested a race or arm wrestling) to see which one should be my guy.

6) If I'm not sure he's the one, I can have a test. For example, Zack likes her, but she's not sure he's the guy for her because she really likes Noah... so Zack has to pass a test this week. Every day he has to prove that he likes what she likes. She likes Broccoli, Zack doesn't, but if he wants to be her guy, he needs to try broccoli this week to prove his love!


BabyGirl says this is how she has been so successful with her four boyfriends since preschool. Sad thing is, I think we're almost even in number! hahaha She said she is not the type of girl to just wait around and be all girly and wait for the boy to come to her. If she likes him, she just calls him over and tells him she likes him and sees if he wants to be her boyfriend. Shockingly simple. Who'd have thought that the BEST advice I would get for this whole dating thing would come from my 8 year old daughter!

Saturday, finale

Well... I survived my first date...and he's definately NOT man-whore material! No sense in changing the sheets... no need to worry about bras and panties.... hell... I didn't even have to shave my legs!

I was worried that dating as an adult would be all strange... I didn't know what to expect... Guess what... its pretty much the same crap it was in high school! hahahaha

One minor mishap.... Boy, who does NOT approve of mother dating, came HOME in the middle of the movie! Which... means ManChild WILL hear I had a date!(bonus) hahaha but... that was just slightly ackward. Boy was nice... additional teenage boys with him were also nice... teased me on looking "hot" while we walked in... but... not exactly what I wanted in the middle of my first "grown up" date!

Nice guy.. probably worth seeing again... but tame... very very tame.

I'm a little sad to not have more to share!

Saturday part 1

Well.... the bra and panties match... if you consider that they're both white! hahaha I gave up the search in favor of having a clean house to hang out in. Like Aunt Crazy says... if they hit the floor fast enough, he won't notice what color they are! hahaha

I have about an hour and a half to go til he gets off work. I hope all this shaving is worth it! hahaha That is DEFINATELY the number one benefit of being married! As far as clothes go, I went casual with a little bit of sexy.... denim shorts, low v-neck top.... had to show off the smooooooooooth legs yaknow! hahaha

THEN... something not a single one of my many advice givers mentioned... I had to wonder about scent! Unfortunately, I have the worst allergies on the planet so my husband never really expected me to smell nice! I decided eau de new puppy wasn't going to cut it for a date! Fortunately, I dug out some Bath and Body works lotion and a little light spray... gonna have to do.

So... how many of you have ever had your EX help you clean your house for your date? Yes... My life is INSANE! hahaha ManChild came over today to use the computer to take care of some business he should've had done a LONG time ago, but is now and emergency. I was cleaning my bedroom and came out to see him dusting the computer desk in the living room! hahaha No... he has NO IDEA why I was cleaning my bedroom!

Okay... I'm off to figure out the best lighting scheme for the big night... I'll be back with the deets when I can :-)

Friday Night

Walmart does not sell matching bra and panty sets for real women! And I have my first grown up date in about 24 hours! What's a girl to do? A matching set is required, right? That's what I've been told. I also need to make sure I have clean sheets.... shave... EVERYWHERE... and I guess its NOT acceptable to wear my comfy clothes... even though we're just watching movies on my couch (which I found out was also totally unacceptable for a first date.... oops!)

WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO???


Not that I had a choice... I was perfectly content being wife/mother for over half my life. Not that everything was perfect, but we had an okay life I thought. I'm meant to be a mother... to everyone... not just my own two children, but to everyone I meet, apparently this includes my husband! Leave it to him to be my first "rebellious teenager"! He basically screamed "I hate you! You never let me do anything! I'm a grown up... I'm moving out!" just as you would expect from a selfish, good for nothing, too big for his britches 18 year old.

That was January. He moved into the neighbors GARAGE across the street! He finally got all his crap out of my house on Valentines Day... moved it all into storage of course, cuz there's no room in the GARAGE for everything he HAS to have.

Did I mention we have 2 children... 8 and 12? The 12 year old is grown up enough to realize that this isn't the way things are done! He's starting to come around, but he'll never have the same "Dad" he used to have. The 8 year old has a heart of gold and just doesn't want her Daddy to be alone.. she doesn't understand that he did it to himself... but I have a feeling she'll get there too.

OH... and there was no room in the garage for HIS dad, so he left him here with me.... in my basement. Yes.... I should get a big neon sign that says "All Strays Welcome" in my front yard! haahaa

Surprisingly, the children didn't like visiting the garage, so we had no regular visitation schedule until I forced the issue. He's had an apartment for... hmmm..... 3 weeks now? And the boy STILL won't go there unless I make him... but at least I have some free weekends now... kind of... last Dad weekend, my home was filled with varying ages of teenage boys for most of Saturday, then Saturday night, Boy had enough of his dad who "isn't even man enough to talk to me face to face" and came home to sleep.

BUT.... now I have a date! Its time.... ManChild didn't wait at all.... he's already in a relationship... and I KNOW he's not coming back. I'm sure the whole story will come out eventually, but this is not the first time he's left... therefore he is NOT coming back again.

My friends have varying opinions on what I need now that I'm single for the first time in my life (ManChild taught me to drive.... I'm not going to tell you EXACTLY how old I am... but that was a lifetime ago) The recurring idea, though, is that its time for me to have some fun! I'm all for fun! I LOVE fun!

but.... did you notice the "small town" part?

There's just not a whole lot of fun to be had around here! We have a movie theatre... for once you HAVE a date.... and a few hick bars... one that even has a DJ on Friday nights.... if I want to fight the 18/20 year olds to get to the dance floor! Not to mention, who am I going to go with? Married people have married friends and even my token single girlfriend just found her soulmate!

So... I put the word out... I'm ready to date. Unfortunately, most of the men that are single at my age are single for a reason! No... I'm not THAT old... but this is a small town... we tend to settle down and have a few babies before we're old enough to legally drink the beer at our reception! But... I'm not picky. I'm not looking for a HUSBAND or anything.... a hot little man-whore would do just fine... I think.....right? Just a little fun, right?

Finally, single girlfriend comes through with a newly single guy friend I can talk to. Unfortunately, this guy's not man-whore, love em and leave em fluff.... or I'm just not built to relate that way, who knows! I never got to be that person in high school either.... So... after chatting through text for about a week, we have a date tomorrow night.... at my house.... on my couch... dvd's and popcorn... and clean sheets... and maybe.. just maybe... matching bra and panties!