Thursday, April 29, 2010


omg... I think I'm addicted to reading online personal ads! hahahahaha I'm not desparate or crazy or anything like that, but some of them are just freaking hilarious! "I wanna lick you for hours" "married, but afternoons are free" "my wife and I will meet you at ...."

I think a big part of my intrigue in all this is just trying to figure out which ones are actually serious and which ones are just obviously trash!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Not Fair!!!

I have one "interested" and one "checking me out" at and I'm too freaking poor to pay for the subscription! And one of my matches sounds GREAT... I'd be totally willing to check HIM out! hahahaha

stupid stupid stupid girl! When it says free WEEKEND wait for the WEEKEND! The next 2 days til I can "check out my matches for free" are going to be brutal!

In the meantime..... what do you think of a guy named "Thor"?

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

A huge leap!

Well... after my disappointing outing at the bar, I decided its time to try harder. I joined Yahoo Personals, and started a profile on I'm not sure what I expected, but after a day, I've had ONE person check out my profile! I'm not so sure this is going to help my self esteem! hahaha

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Wild and Crazy Kildless Weekend!

Ah the fun and excitement of a Kid Free Weekend!!!

Last night, I thought I'd try my hand at the bar scene. I don't drink, mind you, so this was quite the experiment. I am not morally opposed to liquor or anything like that, I just don't like anything that I've tried, but I like to dance (thanks to my awesome texas friends!) so I was looking forward to going.

My gorgeous friend Blondie likes to drink and likes to dance... her husband does NOT like it... so that was an issue before we ever got started. Then her boss and another friend (who doesn't seem to like me much) were there, so I was kind of off to myself most of the night. She was drinking, but not feeling it enough to dance... I'm not a big fan of dancing alone! haha

It was slim pickin's at the bar... either old and creepy or omg-you-can't-possibly-be-old-enough-to-drink! The only guys worth looking at were there with their signifigant others.

SO anyway... Blondie finally danced, and that was it for Mr Blondie.. he doesn't like the other guys checking out his hottie wife, so we came home around 1am.

Then I had to be at work at 6:30 am... fun fun! I was only 7 minutes late though! Worked til noon, napped til 5 and now I'm feeding SkaterBoy's buddies and trying to decide what I'm going to clean tonight or if i'm going to ditch it all and just watch tv!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

This weeks crush

I have a secret little crush on our IT guy at work! I think he's married, but apparently not happily! hahaha I work in a building with about 300 women and... ummm.... 6 guys! hahaha 2 of those guys' wives work there with them...... its not a very big pond! LOL

But our IT guy is a cutie! And he plays up his role as the most eligible guy in the building! He's a flirt and super friendly and I guess I'm just in the right frame of mind to fall for it!

Fortunately, I'm not crazy or desperate... but... I AM planning to join a couple singles' sites this weekend! Maybe it'll give me something to do on these lonely weekends without my kids. Hopefully, at the very least, it'll give me plenty of blog fodder to keep you entertained! :-)

Monday, April 19, 2010

Sorry Loyal Fans!

I had one of my downhill type weekends! It started Saturday when ManChild confirmed that his new girlfriend was going to be in town for the weekend (she lives a couple of hours away) For some reason, that seemed to highlight the fact that he really is gone and I really am alone. I don't want him back, but I don't particularly want him HAPPY either! hahahaha

SO... Friday night, I text him that he has GOT TO STOP CALLING ME. He texts me at least once a day. Thursday night he called to chat about a mutual acquaintance's upcoming retirement... He texted me that a friend of my mom's was selling a Jeep for too much money... Just little crazy crap that he has no business talking to me about. His first response is "YOU text ME too!" Ummm... yes.. unfortunately, I am guilty, but almost ALWAYS its AFTER he's been texting me and being overly friendly and stuff and I forget that I can't be friends with him. So I said, "Do not try to make this MY fault... I am not the one that wanted to give up my best friend." He says, "I'm not trying to make it anyone's fault" Ummm... Hello... its YOUR fault! But, whatever, by the end of the converstation, he had managed to make me feel like I was the scum of the Earth and totally sucked all the life out of him. It was depressing.

Saturday, I had to replace SkaterBoy's stolen cell phone. I'm on ebay trying to find a phone. SkaterBoy is using ManChild's cool messaging phone because obviously Dad doesn't need it.. his girlfriend is THERE with him, right? So, of course, despite the fact that this is his third phone in less than a year, SkaterBoy wants a phone like Dad's. I find one on Ebay for $60, call boy to tell him to ask dad how much he'll pay because ManChild has already made a big deal to me about how broke he is. Dad tells boy... "Mom says you have $20 in allowance, I'll give you 20 and she can give you 20"

Ummm... okay... where does the allowance come from? The Money Fairy??? I said, "no.. you have $10 in allowance now since I gave you 10 of it last night for roller skating, and by that math, I pay $40 and dad pays 20! Call him back and get a dollar amount that he's going to pay and I'll find a phone I can afford to pay the rest toward."

SO.. in the midst of buying SkaterBoy a phone he did not deserve, I screw up the PayPal thing and end up taking the money out of ManChild's checking account. I call to warn him, cuz I'm sure he's on the verge of being in overdraft despite the fact that he got paid the day before. He won't answer his phone! Understandable, I guess, since new girlfriend is there, but whatever!

.... later that evening... I come home from shopping with some friends around 8pm. SkaterBoy is nowhere to be found and not answering his cell phone! I know he has no money because he spent the 10 I gave him the night before at the skating rink. I call friends... no answer... I am FREAKING OUT. Finally, I decide to drive to the skating rink to see if I can find a friend that has seen him since I talked to him last. SkaterBoy is THERE! How did he get there? Dad brought him AND gave him money to get in. Ummm... and nobody thought to let ME KNOW WHERE MY CHILD IS???? I called ManChild...still not answering calls from me... left a scathing message about how its MY weekend and don't you DARE just take boy wherever he wants to go without talking to me about it first!

... Sunday was just more suckiness.. won't bore you with the details...

... but then... This afternoon... BabyGirl wants to go dinner with Dad. No... I don't want her to, its my night, but I don't want to punish her cuz I hate him, so I said it was okay. He actually speaks to me.. live voice... to make sure it's okay. Yeah.. fine.. whatever. I leave BabyGirl at the house and go to the chiropractor. Get home a little bit later, MANCHILD IS IN MY HOUSE!!! Getting his mail or something.. probably checking his email on my freaking computer. Whodathunk that telling him I don't want to speak to him anymore didn't cover the fact that he isn't welcome in my home anymore either!

I have no idea how I'm supposed to survive this INSANITY!!!!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Family Game Night

Wednesdays are Family Game Night. It started as a way to force ManChild to interact with the family, but since he's been gone, its been MUCH more fun, and we regularly have guest family members playing with us. Tonight was SkaterBoy's best bud, 16, who pushed to the very limits of his curfew to stay and finish the game. BabyGirl LIVES for Game Night and everyone wants it to be their turn to pick the game. This week, I picked The Game of Life.

Wouldn't it be great if life was really like the game?

BabyGirl rushed from the get go. She didn't go to college, but ended up being a computer whiz with the highest salary available. She was the first to get a paycheck, the first to buy a house, the first to have children, and the first to retire, with a nice little nest egg. She ended up in second place.

SkaterBoy played by the seat of his pants. Looking for the easy money anywhere he could get it. He went to college and became an accountant after figuring out that we'd all be paying HIM when the taxes were due. He bought a beautiful house, had baby after baby after baby, but never had to pay anything for any of them, just kept collecting from all of us whenever we got hit with taxes. He came in third.

GoodBuddy was the careful player. He is the only player who bought stock, was the first to pay off his student loans, insured everything he had and made a modest salary as an athelete. He ended the game with only three life tiles (which, if you're not familiar with the game, you get when you do something.. anything.. skydiving, winning the nobel prize, planning family game night... just getting out gets you a life card). GB played it safe and followed all the rules. He came in dead last!

Me... I was the doctor. I started with a small salary, but ended up with the high pay for long enough to have built up quite a savings. I had a modest but nice home, no insurance, no stock. I had two children, that I paid for on one turn. I paid taxes more often than anyone else, but I also landed on the most humanitarian spaces.... even won a nobel prize! hahaha I was the last player to retire, which meant I collected life tiles long after everyone else was enjoying their retirement. I ended up with twice as much money as BabyGirl! Slow and steady really did win the race.

I can only hope, as I get my life together and head into this new adventure, that real life imitates the game. I'm more than willing to work for what I earn, but I've been slow and steady for so long.... I can't wait to see where I end up in the grand scheme of things. I anxiously await the results in this huge Game of Life.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


I hate to drive. I am not bad at driving (shut up Aunt Crazy!) but I am a MUCH better navigator. I can get you wherever you want to go, by either the quickest, or the most scenic, or the long way around. I am my own Google Map! I can tell you points of interest along the way, give you ideas where to stop, pick the best tourist traps. I love to be in the passenger seat, just taking everything in.

ManChild is a driver by profession, and he always drove throughout our 20 years together. We took some awesome road trips in that time. Texas... Florida... Smokey Mountains... it was nothing for us to just load up the car, clean out the bank account and start driving. Life was good.

But I CAN drive... and sometimes, by default, I just have to. I don't like it, the trip just isn't nearly as fun when I can't enjoy the scenery, but I'll do it to keep things moving. I've been driving in our relationship for the last few years, and I have a feeling that's where the problems started...neither of us was in the right seat.

I think my date this weekend was a passenger. I think he'll go wherever I want, as long as I do the driving. This is great for some women. I know LOTS of women who LOVE to be behind the wheel, but I'm tired of having to do all the driving and ready to just navigate for a while... enjoy the scenery...

I call Shotgun!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Dating Advice from BabyGirl

My GirlBaby came home from Daddy's this weekend and she didn't know I had been on a date. She asked me if I ever got to meet my "friend" yet and I said yeah.. I had a date over the weekend. She asked how it went, I said it was okay, so she proceeded to share all the wisdom she has learned from her four relationships in her long 8 year lifespan.

1)If I'm going on a date, I need to ask the boy what he likes. I need to find a guy that likes the same things I like. Her suggestion is that since I want to be going back to college soon, I should be looking for a college boy. (hmmm.... I think where this is heading! hahaha)

2)Once I have been on a date, if he asks who I like better, I need to tell him that he's my guy. He's the type for me (if he passed rule 1 and we like the same things)

3)Look him in the eyes (she said it just like that and said, "that's all I have to say about that")

4)If this isn't the first date (and she qualified this advice with that opening), sometimes you just have to go for it. Don't be the kind of girl that just giggles and waits around. (yes.. I am already afraid for her teenage years!)

5)If I need to move on to another boyfriend and he asks who I like better I should just tell him "Well--I have liked you for a while now, I think I like you, so just meet me at..... (fill in the blank)" and I should feel free to have a challenge (she suggested a race or arm wrestling) to see which one should be my guy.

6) If I'm not sure he's the one, I can have a test. For example, Zack likes her, but she's not sure he's the guy for her because she really likes Noah... so Zack has to pass a test this week. Every day he has to prove that he likes what she likes. She likes Broccoli, Zack doesn't, but if he wants to be her guy, he needs to try broccoli this week to prove his love!

BabyGirl says this is how she has been so successful with her four boyfriends since preschool. Sad thing is, I think we're almost even in number! hahaha She said she is not the type of girl to just wait around and be all girly and wait for the boy to come to her. If she likes him, she just calls him over and tells him she likes him and sees if he wants to be her boyfriend. Shockingly simple. Who'd have thought that the BEST advice I would get for this whole dating thing would come from my 8 year old daughter!

Saturday, finale

Well... I survived my first date...and he's definately NOT man-whore material! No sense in changing the sheets... no need to worry about bras and panties.... hell... I didn't even have to shave my legs!

I was worried that dating as an adult would be all strange... I didn't know what to expect... Guess what... its pretty much the same crap it was in high school! hahahaha

One minor mishap.... Boy, who does NOT approve of mother dating, came HOME in the middle of the movie! Which... means ManChild WILL hear I had a date!(bonus) hahaha but... that was just slightly ackward. Boy was nice... additional teenage boys with him were also nice... teased me on looking "hot" while we walked in... but... not exactly what I wanted in the middle of my first "grown up" date!

Nice guy.. probably worth seeing again... but tame... very very tame.

I'm a little sad to not have more to share!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Saturday part 1

Well.... the bra and panties match... if you consider that they're both white! hahaha I gave up the search in favor of having a clean house to hang out in. Like Aunt Crazy says... if they hit the floor fast enough, he won't notice what color they are! hahaha

I have about an hour and a half to go til he gets off work. I hope all this shaving is worth it! hahaha That is DEFINATELY the number one benefit of being married! As far as clothes go, I went casual with a little bit of sexy.... denim shorts, low v-neck top.... had to show off the smooooooooooth legs yaknow! hahaha

THEN... something not a single one of my many advice givers mentioned... I had to wonder about scent! Unfortunately, I have the worst allergies on the planet so my husband never really expected me to smell nice! I decided eau de new puppy wasn't going to cut it for a date! Fortunately, I dug out some Bath and Body works lotion and a little light spray... gonna have to do.

So... how many of you have ever had your EX help you clean your house for your date? Yes... My life is INSANE! hahaha ManChild came over today to use the computer to take care of some business he should've had done a LONG time ago, but is now and emergency. I was cleaning my bedroom and came out to see him dusting the computer desk in the living room! hahaha No... he has NO IDEA why I was cleaning my bedroom!

Okay... I'm off to figure out the best lighting scheme for the big night... I'll be back with the deets when I can :-)

Friday, April 9, 2010

Friday Night

Walmart does not sell matching bra and panty sets for real women! And I have my first grown up date in about 24 hours! What's a girl to do? A matching set is required, right? That's what I've been told. I also need to make sure I have clean sheets.... shave... EVERYWHERE... and I guess its NOT acceptable to wear my comfy clothes... even though we're just watching movies on my couch (which I found out was also totally unacceptable for a first date.... oops!)


Not that I had a choice... I was perfectly content being wife/mother for over half my life. Not that everything was perfect, but we had an okay life I thought. I'm meant to be a mother... to everyone... not just my own two children, but to everyone I meet, apparently this includes my husband! Leave it to him to be my first "rebellious teenager"! He basically screamed "I hate you! You never let me do anything! I'm a grown up... I'm moving out!" just as you would expect from a selfish, good for nothing, too big for his britches 18 year old.

That was January. He moved into the neighbors GARAGE across the street! He finally got all his crap out of my house on Valentines Day... moved it all into storage of course, cuz there's no room in the GARAGE for everything he HAS to have.

Did I mention we have 2 children... 8 and 12? The 12 year old is grown up enough to realize that this isn't the way things are done! He's starting to come around, but he'll never have the same "Dad" he used to have. The 8 year old has a heart of gold and just doesn't want her Daddy to be alone.. she doesn't understand that he did it to himself... but I have a feeling she'll get there too.

OH... and there was no room in the garage for HIS dad, so he left him here with me.... in my basement. Yes.... I should get a big neon sign that says "All Strays Welcome" in my front yard! haahaa

Surprisingly, the children didn't like visiting the garage, so we had no regular visitation schedule until I forced the issue. He's had an apartment for... hmmm..... 3 weeks now? And the boy STILL won't go there unless I make him... but at least I have some free weekends now... kind of... last Dad weekend, my home was filled with varying ages of teenage boys for most of Saturday, then Saturday night, Boy had enough of his dad who "isn't even man enough to talk to me face to face" and came home to sleep.

BUT.... now I have a date! Its time.... ManChild didn't wait at all.... he's already in a relationship... and I KNOW he's not coming back. I'm sure the whole story will come out eventually, but this is not the first time he's left... therefore he is NOT coming back again.

My friends have varying opinions on what I need now that I'm single for the first time in my life (ManChild taught me to drive.... I'm not going to tell you EXACTLY how old I am... but that was a lifetime ago) The recurring idea, though, is that its time for me to have some fun! I'm all for fun! I LOVE fun!

but.... did you notice the "small town" part?

There's just not a whole lot of fun to be had around here! We have a movie theatre... for once you HAVE a date.... and a few hick bars... one that even has a DJ on Friday nights.... if I want to fight the 18/20 year olds to get to the dance floor! Not to mention, who am I going to go with? Married people have married friends and even my token single girlfriend just found her soulmate!

So... I put the word out... I'm ready to date. Unfortunately, most of the men that are single at my age are single for a reason! No... I'm not THAT old... but this is a small town... we tend to settle down and have a few babies before we're old enough to legally drink the beer at our reception! But... I'm not picky. I'm not looking for a HUSBAND or anything.... a hot little man-whore would do just fine... I think.....right? Just a little fun, right?

Finally, single girlfriend comes through with a newly single guy friend I can talk to. Unfortunately, this guy's not man-whore, love em and leave em fluff.... or I'm just not built to relate that way, who knows! I never got to be that person in high school either.... So... after chatting through text for about a week, we have a date tomorrow night.... at my house.... on my couch... dvd's and popcorn... and clean sheets... and maybe.. just maybe... matching bra and panties!